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Old 27-Mar-2005, 20:46   #1
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A Piece of my Insanity

This is the name of my anthology i threw together a while back, alot of the poems in here i have already posted on the forums, but they are all in chronological order, so u can see the progression of poetry throughout the period where i wrote them. Please gimme feedback on the whole thing. (btw im trying to revive this forum and give some inspiration)

Thoughts of Mind

My innocent eyes are betrayed by whats behind
For whats behind is the pain,
Which holds the thoughts, I thought insane
The thoughts insane are inside
Inside my head I thought had died
What had died is now alive
Alive to hear my thoughts of mind
My thoughts of mind are betrayed
By the thoughts I thought insane.

The Crow

The crow stared into the night
Seeing nothing but that which was in sight
It flew, flew, flew away
Never again to see another day.

For that night
It could not see that which it might
It flew, flew, flew with the wind
Little did it know it had sinned

Because oblivious to that night
It was struck down by that which was not in sight
For which was not in sight had no fear
It did not show when the Crow was near

The lifeless Crow it fell
Down into the blackness of a feathery hell
Now it knew that of which it shouldnt
It knew how to avoid it but now couldnt

This was the end of its tale
And now the black will never turn pale


A sudden flash of a shadow near
She turns around filled with fear
Her face is one out of place
Filled with beauty filled with grace
She hears a voice, which once was dead
The voice she heard was inside her head
The shadow came even near
In her eye a glistening tear
For the shadow was the world
Leaving her behind in the dark and cold
Embrace this earth like it was your own
Or you shall find yourself all alone

Hatred solves nothing
Nothing solves itself


My eyes are blind to the truth
The truth that blinds my senses
You are here but your not
You never were, you are a thought
A distant memory, a fading dream.

My life seems incomplete
Without you, its reached a dead end
Its your dead end....

Like the stars fall from the sky
Friends fall from my mind
Things like this happen
Its time to move on and see whats
Happening in the big wide world.

A new thought emerges
A confused one at that
I dont know what to do
I have learnt from my mistakes
Never one to not learn
I shall not miss my chance
At greatness

The Passing of Time

The stars will pass
The sun will burn
The planets will move
The moon will turn

My mind will think
Yours will too
My thoughts
Are not thoughts of you

Life goes on
So will yours
It will play
Without a pause

Until the end
The final release
Its the true end
Your body at peace

You will be left behind
As the world goes on
Peoples minds dont dwell
They will not think of you for long

The stars will pass
The sun will burn
The planets will move
The moon will turn


You cant deny my right to dream
Its my right to life
You cant imagine what Ive seen
A living blade, a knife

I hide amoung the shadows dark
Waiting for the call
Im waiting for you, you are my spark
The one I give my all

You cant deny my right to dream
Its mine and mine alone
Its for me to know where Ive been
Never to be heard or known

The shadows of my mind
Call to me in vain
They are built behind
My second mind of pain

You cant deny my right to dream
Leave me on my own
Its for me to know what Ive seen
I carry the secrets to the bone

Wind Walker

I am the wind walker
Light as the air
I can travel as far
As you can possibly imagine
I walk on the wind
Through rain, snow and frost
My eyes are never weary
Never do they fail
My legs are never weakening
They continue my struggle
I am the wind around you
I am there all the time
Protecting your way of life
Protecting your state of mind
I am the wind walker
Light as the air


He lived alone
In a quiet part of town
No one gave a care in the world
No one cared if he was up or down.
He was old and frail
Never living life to the full
Could never open the door to life
Never figure out if it was push or pull.
Overwhelmed with loneliness
He faded into the darkest night
Dying alone no one caring
His eyes left open wide with fright.
And there he stayed
For an eternity he glared
Wondering if anyone would come
Wondering if anyone cared.
That man he was a familiar face
Whoever could that man be
It was in fact a vision through time
In fact that man was me.


A world behind windows
A life behind words
She is in my life
I am in hers
In our times of need
We are there time and time again
Unlike other people
She is a true friend
She loves you for who you are
Not what you want to be
She loves you for who you are
And that person is me.


No hope was left in sight
You came to me in the darkness of the night
A shadow of a cold and callous hand
Reached out of the darkness, out of the sand
It softly whispered in my ear
It gently showed me what i fear
It told me of lands far away
It screamed how i was going to pay
It told me my endless sins
It stabbed me sharpened needles and pin
It showed me the depths I will be driven
I dub thee unforgiven

The World Through The Eyes of A Gun

On the roof, a man stood, his hair whispering in the wind, dressed in a long trench coat dragging at his feet, his complexion was mixed, his eyes were near black and his lips a dark brown. Motionless he stood, the world around him seemed to stand still as he did the same, even the fluttering of birds seemed to stop for a life time. A tear dropped from the mans eye to the floor smashing with the grace of a thousand diamonds. He turned towards the edge and stood there, he opened his arms to the heavens, and with a final glimpse to the sky his eyes tightened. As his face fell out of sight down to the unsuspecting people below him on the hustling New York streets, the black, yet perplexing eye of a gun stood smoking pondering its previous action with curiosity. It seemed to stare for longer than its owner wished it to, it juddered to his side when the wail of sirens drew nearer. The people below had obviously met the stranger in circumstances that were not befitting for their first meeting. As the footsteps grew ever louder towards the door to the stair well, the pigeons flew nervously back to their resting place, not knowing whether the intruder would strike. He did not. The man walked with a walk he did not enter with. Two men came, one man left.

His apartment was a clutter of everything electrical. He waded through as he calmly removed his clothing, like a cat stalking its prey he moved with grace while performing this action. A sliding door opened almost completely unheard, and seemed to stop the closest it could from making a bang. The sound of running water was the only sound in the apartment at the time; it seemed at though it was raining inside. The rooms were thick with a thousand thoughts and nothing was there to cleanse the guilt. The gun lay on the table, resting its curious eye. Various other guns lay on the table, surrounded by silencers and a soldering iron. The door slid open and closed with the same grace as it did the first time. Unlike the footsteps on the roof the mans footsteps were now totally soundless. Not a noise could be heard in the room and would not be until the sound of birds echoed the next morning.

The man rose feeling better, but still not human, he yawned. As he rose to the morning sun a shadow was standing in the corner of the room, it seemed he had hid in the only shadow that would suit his dark appearance, a voice, booming like pure bass, "The roof? It was you?", the mans stunned silence told the man what he needed to know better than a thousand words. A sharp sound, a glint of metal, the wall covered with a slash of blood. The man sheathed his blade and walked over to his victim, he closed his eyes. Cleaning his blade he close the door, almost with the same silence as the man did the previous night, that man was nothing but an empty shell on his bed drowning in a pool of blood and guilt.

The man on the roof received a proper funeral but the man who killed him, still lays in his apartment, ever peaceful and ever oblivious that somethings are supposed to be left alone, and somethings left un-touched.

The Wrath of The Raven

The raven stood on the church tall
The dove was cowered, scared and small
The raven swooped steep and down
The dove was stunned still looking around
The raven it let out a fearful howl
The dove could do nothing but fear and cowl.

The shadow approached pending doom
It threatened to send the dove to its tomb
But the dove was strong and full of speed
It was given strength in its time of need
It swooped up high alert and aloft
It dwarfed the raven, made it cute and soft.

The raven flew callous and cold
But its menacing was frail and old
The dove it spun from up on high
A streak of white lightning through the sky
It delivered a deadly blow
Sending the raven tumbling to the ground below.

Its a game of black and white
White as the day, black as the night
It is the circle of life
A continuing struggle, a never-ending flight
This time the dove did win
But the raven will be back and it will sin


Let your mind do the talking
Stop torturing yourself
And set your mind free
Your body lies
In the land of hypocrisy.
Your state of mind
Depends on that
Which lies ahead
Your state of mind
Informs you of your bodies death.
Listen to your mind
And listen well
Its a lesson you have to learn
Its a ride through hell.


Why can I find the best company,
In solitary confinement?
Why can I find water in a desert,
Melting with thirst?
Why can I find a drop,
In the never-ending ocean?
Why can I find that needle in the haystack,
When the haystack is eternal?
Why can I find colour,
In a world of black and white?
All the above comes,
With a missing piece of mind.
That missing piece of mind,
I dont know why,
But Ive yet to find.


I see myself in a thousand mirrors
A reflection of my schizophrenia.
What was one, is now many
And what is many talks all at once.
My head filled with a thousand voices
All from one person, stabbing my head.
I cry blood.

Short but Not so Sweet

As I walk, oblivious to the world around
I see nothing, but myself.
Wandering in a dense fog,
Land of loneliness.

There is no sun in my sky.


Fingertips dance to an invisible beat
Leaping across the table!
The pen does not come up for a gasp of breath
Bleeding on the paper!
The steady rhythm of my foot
Hitting the hard wood floor!
The glancing parade of my eyes
Uniform in line with the paper!
The coughs, the twitches,
Echo in my head!
The binary path walked by the elders
Assessing our intelligence!
The years compressed to hours,
Burn a hole in your head!


Its funny, how you never think about words
When they are singled out from the crowd.
Its funny how they go missing at the most
Inappropriate of times, only found in the last place you look.
The words are peaceful, joining hands
In a chain of unbreakable genius.
Whether they sing, whether they dance
They will always have meaning.
But try for once to put our lives into words
And Im sure the genius will disappear,
And the chain will break, they shall not sing
Nor will they dance. They will be still
Always lost, never to be found in the last place
That never existed!

Image Burn

The dark windswept horizon stood still
As the sun sank into oblivion
The blaze emanated sheered across the sky
Running at a thousand horses
It pierced the eyes.

As the light fades
The evening calls of the birds
Ring out amoung the heavens
And here I stand on this mountain
Over looking the rainforest dressed in black.

Now as the sun disappears
The blaze never dies within my mind
Burning with the fury of a thousand stars
The picture is alive.

Blind Truth

A mould of a former self
Gives you the chance
To take your life in your hands
Change what needs to be changed
Re-live life as it was
Or what it could have been.
My message to you
Is make your own decisions
And dont always believe
What your eyes tell you, you have seen


A feather falls with solemn grace
Fluttering in the autumn breeze
It spins without a purpose
Only to be left alone.

It falls, it falls
The air struggling to keep it aloft
Its descent is filled with chaos
Chaos amid this calm calm night.

The wind howls a wolves whistle
Bowing to the darkness
And filling it with fear
The feather falls, the ground approaches.

The ground is cold yet alert
It catches the feather
But lets it go again
It drifts off into the night
To be caught by the wolf.

The wolf is nowhere to be seen
And the whistle is gone
Light creeps over the calm night
To be left with the feather
And the world around it.

Here or There

I feel sick, knowing shes there
With him, or whoever
My stomach twists and turns
My anger rises the back of my throat
Shes happier than ever
And Im not with her
Why must I endure such torture?
My life on the line
She plays games with my heart
Dropping it when she sees fit
My life was her
And she was my life
Shame I couldnt of made that difference
Between here or there

Send Me, Deliver Me

Send me, deliver me
To a place where I can be free.
Free from your grasp, you mind wrenching words
They clasp at my brain, restricting logical thought.
I imagine a world free from you
A world where my thoughts dance in the haze of a warm summers day
Blowing in the breeze my memories shall soak up the atmosphere!
But in this world there will always be a dark corner
Full of hate and disappear
Where memories of you linger
And thoughts of you enslave
If only there were a world without that dark corner
If that world be
Send me, deliver me!

Grave Misfortune

My eyes were not open, but i could see
All around me, my family stood
Streaks of tears, burning lines in the contours of their faces
Staring at me, hand over mouth
I tried to rise, to show them I was ok
But my body did not move
I tried to speak to tell them I was ok
But my mouth did not move
Suddenly they looked round
Four men approached carrying a lid
The lid that would put an end to my story
I saw my mother last, She had fallen to her knees
As her face disappeared into black
I knew i would never see her again.
I was lowered, Six feet under
A soul in an empty shell
Trapped in Pandoras box
Waiting to be let out.

Life to Lead

Break my bones
Take my homes
Slit my wrists
Cut my fists
Slap my face
Put me to disgrace
Break my back
Cut my slack
Do whatever to me
As my mind has led me to believe
That without you
I have no life to lead

Model Behavior

As you stand there, striking your poses
Living high, smell like roses
Looking down on those below you
Believing they have nothing to show you
You are blind with eyes wide
Self centered, within you hide
Swallowed up in your thoughts
Thinking of what can and cant be bought
No one else deserves your time of day
Unless they see and think your way
Guess what, its time to wake up
Smell the coffee, leave the make-up
Walk outside your door, wide-awake
Remember this minute; remember this first step you take
Leave behind your sweetest scent
Take back all the words you never meant

Destructive Minds

Instruments of destruction
Laced with pride
All the while afraid
To unleash whats inside

To press the button
Is the final step!
But the mind
Is where the weapons are kept!

A single mind
Has the key to unlock Pandoras box
A single mind
Not held by chains or locks

An evil mind
Unrestricted by sanity
An evil mind
Not concerned with vanity

What goes up
Must eventually fall
But when it does
It will be the end of us all

All Too True

Last night I had a dream of you
I felt your touch again
You had given up the place you love
And you alleviated all of my pain

As I embraced you in my arms
Calm washed over me
My love, which had been hiding
My eyes, only you they could see

My worries they melted away
Washed down stream
I awoke in a cold sweat
It was only a dream...

My feelings still remain
I love you through and through
But outside of that dream
My fears are all too true

What Ive become

I stand on the edge of my mouth
Screaming. Shouting.
Into the blackness my voice rings
Hoping you will hear it
Bitter. Spiteful.
Head filled with rage
Heart filled with love
I get no reply
Except the deafening silence
I turn around and walk away
To see the light of another day
As I walk I ask myself
Is it wrong,
To hate what Ive become?

Your Tainted Wake

As you left, out of the door
You didnt realize all the things you had taken with you
Chained to your conscience a piece of me trails behind
Scented with my favourite smell
It dances to the tune of my favourite song
Mocking me.
So many things I have given,
So many things I have received
So many things we have shared
All lay ruined in your tainted wake
When reminded of them
they will trigger
my memories of you,
and a calm water
will become a raging sea.
The fire storm horizon
will blur through
the haze of my tears.


As I grip onto the edge, only by my fingertips
I look down at the sheer drop into blackness
On my metaphorical mountainside I dangled
She stood above my foot raised in the air
Ready to stamp on my fingers
My only harness attached to her waist
Holding a knife her threats cut me
With a sympathetic look in her eyes
She pondered my fate, I had no control.
If it was for the best for me to drop
Then why can I not let go?
She was the only one who could save me
Cutting me loose or lifting me into her arms
A stalemate, a cliffhanger if you will
In my metaphorical mind.

Clash of The Titans

As the titans roar high above the ground
Their sharp tongues lashing out
Spitting acid back and forth
Burning a hole in the others ego
Tongues turn to fists
And hell on earth is unleashed
The genius of both overshadowed
By the power of the other
All of a sudden both come crashing down
To be faced by a man, and only a man
Never has the underdog been so triumphant
But to bring down the titans
Made the man a titan in his own right
And the vicious circle continued into the next fight
Only the once underdog, was now on top

My Darkest Days

The darkest days are full of my darkest hours
Not brightened by sunshine, smiles or flowers
If you look deep into my eyes, down into my soul
Black as the night lays a deep and gaping hole
Once filled to the brim with love and joy
It was cut out, thrown around, made a toy
As the seconds go by, I sit and wonder
Could you have grown in my heart any fonder?
I always believe there's room for improvement
But my body and mind were not ready for such a movement
Why is it you think of my love so low?
Thinking it doesnt swing to, but only fro
Heres your wake up call, my love is magnetic
And its stuck right onto you so dont you forget it
In and out of love, I do not dabble
But it seems Im up shit creek without a paddle


As I walk up walls, my mind flips
Windows become doors and barriers break
The cracks between the bricks I cannot comprehend
Maybe tomorrow it will make sense.
Duck and cover, along the blue expanse
My green sky with birds whizzing past
I moonwalk on my clouds of silk
Hitting myself with the wind
As I lift off, I free fall upwards
Towards the green sky, and the whizzing birds
I sing my least favourite song
To the tune of the howling breeze
As i remember my childhood and all its colours
I fade six feet under


Concrete feet, ocean deep
Pushed from height, no more lies
Free fall, dying thoughts
Dizzy and sick, feet hit
Bottom of the ocean, dark and murky
Black out. Back in
Throbbing brow, headache
Unknown place, bottle in hand
I dreamt of drowning my sorrows
"What I have shown you is reality. What you remember, that is the illusion." Sephiroth
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Old 27-Mar-2005, 20:46   #2
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No matter where I go
No matter what I do
It all leads down that same old road
Littered with memories.

I right the wrongs in my mind
Those old wounds dont seem to heal with time
Little things make the difference!
Dont they?

I stand facing your house, paranoid?
Just walk away, forget this place
But my feet are chained
Rooting me to the spot

I walk away not wishing to look behind
No stopping the inevitable
I turn around, a tear burning my cheek
Diamonds splash on the ground

One thought!
Why is it no matter what I do,
It always leads down this same old road
It always leads back to you

My place by the pond

Have you ever experienced that sweet sickly morning smell, the one that thrusts its way right up your nose and knocks on your brains door, yelling at it 'Hey you! Its a wonderful day, now get your lazy arse in gear and do something constructive'? This morning i rose to an especially potent dose of this fragrance. The air was wet, and chilled my skin! I lay awake staring at the ceiling fan, a never ending cycle, trying to capture a point in one of the blades and follow it round and round, i lay there for half an hour, tossing around thoughts of the day ahead of me. Unbuckled i heard the chirp of the birds outside which had been evading me while i lay fixated at the fan.

The light in my room was very different from my usual light, it seemed to ripple cutting through my blinds, creating that clich look in all the movies that many have tried to recreate, but have failed. Today i was triumphant, it was perfection, and I felt like I was in some dreary movie, starring a clinically depressed actor playing a clinically depressed character. I wondered if my new roll would propel me to fame, but this thought only lasted a moment, as most of mine do! I got up from my bed and walked into the hall.
The cold foot numbing hall, with the echoes of voices ringing along it. I walk down it, or was it up? Passing rooms as i went, looking into each as i passed i noticed, all of the rooms had created perfection with their atmosphere, the mirrors inside looked pleased with the reflection they had created, maybe thinking as i had thought a moment previous that it would make them famous! All my surroundings seemed chuffed with themselves.

I passed the lady at the counter, i glanced at her, no in fact i stared at her, smiling stupidly! I approached her and as she did every morning handed me my post! Not one to look into things i threw the post down, followed by a glass of water, all the while stile smiling my stupid smile. Although i did this almost everyday, as it was routine, she never really took any notice of me. I saw the open door leading out into the gardens, it looked like a cool crisp morning, with a slight frost. You know those ones you only get once a year when winter is desperately trying to hang on, while having its flames (the irony of winter having flames occurred to me and i smiled to myself) doused by the fresh spring. It didnt look inviting while still dressed in my bed attire, so i turned around to face the corridor that was still gleaming with pride and walked my now quite cold feet back down the hall, brushing past the fern plant that stood in its pot by the oak bench, deep in thought, oblivious to me.

I hurried back to my room and dressed myself, now fully clad, i hurried my way down the hall, staring constantly at the same point in front of me, wondering about the great theories of the world, evolution, magnetism, the big bang! I was so deep in thought i missed the lady at reception and forgot to smile. My hands pressed against the door, almost cautious to exit the building on such an unpredictable day, put i forced them. I meandered my way through the cobbled paths and along the hedgerows, slightly bumping into a dressing gown clad man, i knew him he was very pleasant! My feet hurried even quicker now, nervous to get to my spot by the pond, my mind not even wondering what it may look like! Lonely at last, i sit down with my box. Oh did i not say, i bought my box with me, full of my collection! I always keep a side full of bread crumbs for the fish, they are always hungry.

I remember back to my days, when i used to work in the lab, constantly scribbling things down! Years of work, i have to finish that experiment i started, i must remind myself! I need to find a way out of this place, I need to be free! WHY?! WHY AM I HERE!! WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG!!! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT!! I HAVE TO FINISH MY WORK, LET ME OUT, I CANT TAKE IT! Why did they come and take me away, it hurt when they thrusted that needle into me, i cant remember much after that, apart from fading away! The next day i woke staring at the same fan, not remembering the day before, focusing on the day ahead, i would have deja-vu if i knew who i was, i guess the pills tell me otherwise.

First in Line

the first in line
isnt always the best
but in my case
i just cant see the rest

i think i was
The tenth in queue
But the first to me
i never knew

that love could
be so strong
i dont want me queue
to be as long

i can only hope
that the rest will lack
and there she will be standing
in my queue, at the back

Beside Myself

I walk beside myself
Looking in wander
Thinking what I could have been

I walk beside myself
Looking back at
The places I have seen

I walk beside myself
As the sky grows black
And the screams get louder

I walk beside myself
Given one more chance
I would have made myself prouder

I walk beside myself
Into the inferno
Burden on my shoulder

I walk beside myself
As I die in hell
I do not get colder


Lonely drone
Far from home
Wound up dead

On the floor
Nothing more
Fade away

Wings fold
Turning cold
Change to black

Crimson Storm

Crimson storm why do you avoid me?
Threatening from a distance
But never drawing closer!

It is clear you are holding back
Swelling up inside of you, burning a hole!
Why are you red with rage, my crimson storm?

Do me the pleasure of coming to say hello
Why skip the pleasantries?
I hear you shout, I hear you pain
Why not share with us your tortured soul?

Talk to me if you will, I can do you no harm
What burden do you carry? You need not worry
Heaven hath no fury greater than you
My crimson storm.

Why such haste, to get away from me?
It is clear you are not listening
I merely wish to have a glimpse
Of your true eye, my Crimson Storm


You laugh, they all laugh!
Surrounded by misery, molding my emotions
I lash out, fist to their faces
On the floor, surrounded by their evil eyes
Their feet bruise my ego!

It goes on, year after year
Bruises become broken bones
I dare not go to see them anymore
I cower in the darkness
Plotting my revenge

Scarred little child, grows up
I drown their laughter under six feet of earth
It only leaves me with one question!
Whos laughing now?
"What I have shown you is reality. What you remember, that is the illusion." Sephiroth
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Old 08-Apr-2005, 20:42   #3
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It'll take me FOREVER to add those to the website. Especially considering they'd be in a big queue as well, and I don't have much time to do anything with it
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Old 11-Apr-2005, 01:06   #4
off topic
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Still waiting for mine to be stuck on there
, , , , !

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Old 11-Apr-2005, 09:31   #5
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I wasnt hoping for anything to be done with these by the way, just so ppl could look at them all in one go if thats wot they want
"What I have shown you is reality. What you remember, that is the illusion." Sephiroth
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